Day 36; Spoke Too Soon

So maybe I got a little bit ahead of myself. I'm not yet out of the 140's as I weighed in at exactly 140.0. But it is a 1lb loss that I can be proud of. And because I've lost a total of 5.4lbs, I got my 5lb sticker!

This week I am promising to myself to be accountable. I can't get mad at myself for not losing the weight if I'm not tracking, that's just silly. To be honest, its a wonder I lost any weight these past two weeks at all. So, to not mess up all the hard work I've done, I just need to keep at it.

After weighing in, I met Josh over at the mall and we walked around before having our belated Valentines Dinner at Macaroni Grill. I bought two pairs of work pants and a shirt at Express, though I think I'm going to be returning the shirt. I like it, and I think it looks cute - but it has elastic around the waist and I'm just not comfortable enough yet to wear something like that. It's all in my head, but I'm just not there. The pants though, look fantastic. Size 8's! And they aren't too tight!

Josh also found some jeans at American Eagle for $14, so we both we happy.

Dinner was amazing, and it was so nice to go out with Josh and have a nice dinner. We ordered wine, and I had the Prime Pork Loin with Asparagus, and Josh had the Spaghetti with Ricotta Meatballs that was delicious. And the bread, always amazing! It was exactly what we needed.

Day 34, Motivation

In this day and age, when society tells us that women should be thin, be a size 0, it's easy to feel bad about yourself. It's easy to get caught up in that and strive to make society happy.

Sure, I'd like to be thinner and feel more comfortable in my clothes and about my body, not always avoiding trying on clothes because it won't fit over certain lumps and bulges, or because it's just unflattering. Sure, I'd like to be able to wear a bikini, and not be ashamed to walk around the pool or on the beach and wonder how much of me jiggles as I walk.

But the truth of it all is that I want to be healthy. I'm in the "overweight" range right now, meaning that my BMI is between 25.1 and 29, and with this comes various medical issues. High cholesterol is something I've dealt with all my life, and with my dads recent history with heart attacks, thats a big concern.

But I also see my family struggling with, or giving up on their weight. I love my Mom to death, but I don't want to be like her. She has trouble walking around, she gets tired easily and is always in pain. She can't run around and play with her grandkids. She isn't even able to go with us to Disneyland because she can't stand or walk that long. I have her genes, and therefor, I have the potential to become that.

Even though my body will never go back to the way it was after I have kids, I want to be at my goal weight when I get pregnant. I don't want to have to lose the baby fat, plus the weight I've carried for most of my life in order to be a healthy Mom for my kids. I want to be an example for them as well, and teach them how to live a healthy lifestyle so that don't have to struggle with this like I have for the past 15 years.

I'm 26, married, and about to start a family in a couple of years - I'm not in the setting to be selfish about this choice. So sure, it'll be nice to be able to wear a bikini for a little bit, but it'll be priceless to have the health and energy to live a long and healthy life and watch my kids, and their kids grow up.

I've been MIA - Please forgive me!?

So its been awhile since I've posted, and I hate to admit that I fell off the wagon for a little bit. I didn't weigh in last week, and that's partially due to a cold I woke up with Sunday morning that was wreaking havoc on me, and also due to being at work late on Wednesday. But mostly, I wanted to avoid the scale that day. I was up based on the scale at home, and I just wasn't ready to face that.

I stayed home on Thursday and Friday, and snacked, but I really really tried to stay in control, though I still wasn't tracking.

Saturday was my nephews birthday party, and there was El Pollo Loco with all the fixings, cupcakes, chips, dips, candy, and then it was Greggs birthday party with drinks, chips, dips, cakes. It could have been a total disaster. But it wasn't! I had made the decision the night before that I wasn't going to have a cupcake, or the mac&cheese, mashed potatoes, or tortillas that came with lunch. I ate one piece of chicken, some salad with a bit of creamy cilantro dressing, 1 small (1/2) of a taquito, and a small scoop of Sweet Corn Cake. I did snack on some Baked Tostitos, and some pretzel M&M's, but that was it. I didn't overdo it.

Then at Greggs, I snacked on the veggie plate they had, and only had 2 small drinks. I did end up eating a handful of Reduced Fat wheat thins, but I didn't succomb to the cake and chips, and buffalo wings. And the best part, I didn't miss it!

Yesterday Josh and I went to Subway for lunch, and I got my normal Turkey Breast on wheat with Swiss Cheese, which is a total of 9pts. I didn't get any chips, and didn't miss those either. Then we went to Young and Nino's, and Young had Oatmeal Raisin cookies baking, so I found a small one and only ate one. For dinner, we went to this Korean BBQ place where we all shared this big plate of meat. I was kinda hoping they would have some healthy sides with veggies, but they did not. So I had a couple bites of the sausage, 1 baby back rib (they are tiny), and some chicken. I avoided the sweet potato fries and the onion rings.

When I woke up this morning, I decided I needed to face the facts, get on the scale, and get back to tracking. I wasn't going to let this little road bump get in my way of reaching my goals, and I need to come to terms with the fact that this is going to happen again, and probably a few times, and thats okay - as long as I realize that I'm not on track, and do something to fix it.

Surprisingly enough, I must have not been too bad. I weighed in at 139.6. Down 1.4lbs from my weigh-in 2 weeks ago. Back in the 130's! Of course thats morning weight, and not my 5pm weigh-in weight, but it's in the right direction and I've got 3 days to get that number down even more.

See ya 140's (again).

Day...Whatever; Sick.

So I didn't do so great over the weekend. Saturday was my sisters birthday and we spent the day at Victoria Gardens. We had lunch at Kabuki, and while the smart choice would have been the Hibachi Chicken, I had to get the Lotus on Fire Roll. I had that with a house salad and a Mojito.

After that we went to the movies and I managed to eat quite a few Junior Mints!

We walked around the mall forever...literally, hours! We passed by a Coach store and what was inside? My purse! One day, I will have her. Just not today.

I'm really not sure what face I'm making there, but it must be happiness!We stopped at Baskin Robbins and I had a kids size scoop of Jamoca. But by the time we got home I was starving, and grabbed the first thing I saw, which happened to be a slice of Cheese Pizza. I was still hungry after that so I opted for a healthier option of Beef Stew. But yeah, not good.

Sunday I woke up feeling AWFUL! My throat was sore and my sinuses were burning. I had grits and toast with jelly, and some juice for breakfast. For lunch I had beef stew, while the family got Taco Bell. I was doing well until Rachele told me there was an extra Taco, which I ate. I had 7 points going into dinner and figured I'd just have something light when the family decided to order chinese food from wongs, and I said, screw it, I'm enjoying my dinner.

So I wasn't AWFUL, but I wasn't good, and wasn't completely in control.

I will attempt to make up for it the next couple days so I don't have a gain - that would be devastating.

I wonder how much all this added snot weighs.

Gross, I know.

Day 22, Weigh-in #3

Weigh-in Results
Week 3
My weigh-in day was last night, and let me tell you, I'm so happy! I lost another 1.8lbs, giving me a total weight loss of 4.4lbs in 3 weeks. I'm feeling skinnier, and my work pants are even starting to become lose. Even though its only 4.4, it feels like 10, and it feel AWESOME!

I am now starting my 4th week on this journey and I'm even more motivated than ever. If I lose 1.1lbs this week, I'll say goodbye to the 140's, and begin my journey in the 130's.

I'm a happy girl!

Week 4 Obstacles
Rachele's Birthday
We're doing a girls day out at the Victoria Gardens in Ontario. Getting our nails done and having lunch somewhere. I don't know where lunch will be, and what healthy choices I'll have. I hope it's some type of chain that requires their nutritionals to be posted. That would make life easier. I need to figure out the plan and prepare!

Day 20! Feeling Skinny!

I'm feeling thinner, even though technically I've only lost a few pounds. I'm hoping for another 1lb loss this week, which would put me at 3.6lbs. It's going slow, but the finish line doesn't seem so far off. In just a couple weeks, I'll once again be saying goodbye to the 140's and entering the 130's. And then hopefully in a few months, I can say goodbye to the 130's and enter the 120's. Somewhere I haven't been in almost 5 years, and I'm ready to be back there.

I'm still diligent in my tracking, and not going over my points. I'm not perfect everyweek, but I'm in control, and I have so much confidence in myself that I'm not going to give up this time like so many times before.

Wow, I'm Such A Jackass

The weekend started out really good, actually. Saturday was my brother in laws birthday, which we were celebrating at Mexicasa in Anaheim. We didn't have to be there until three, so Josh and I went and did a hike at Rocky Peak. It's just under 5 miles, and is fairly steep. I'm still feeling the soreness a bit in my bum, from pushing myself up those hills.

After getting home and showering, we made our way to Anaheim for Josh's birthday. They really didn't have anything "diet" friendly, but I ended up having 2 Chicken Enchiladas, that according to my book, were 13 points. I would have put them at more, but hey, I'll take it. I didn't have any rice or beans, and didn't touch the Tortilla chips that kept on magically appearing in front of me. After dinner, my family decided to go to Baskin Robbins. I didn't get anything, and I was alright with that.

.

Once we were done there, we made our way to Hollywood to celebrate Lindsay's birthday. We went to this place called the Den of Hollywood, and it was actually a really cool place. Not uppity or crowded at all. Just chill. Right when we pulled up, I saw a guy that looked like Jason Segal sitting alone outside on the patio. Then when we walked in, I realized it WAS Jason Segal. I saw Dani and Whitney at a table right by him, so I sat down there and ordered a drink. Lindsay came out and went up to Jason Segal, gave him a cupcake and said "I don't know who you are". It was kinda embarrasing, but it opened up a line of conversation and we talked to him on and off throughout the night. The girls and I got some cute pictures with him, so that's a nice fun memory.

What isn't a nice fun memory, is how drunk I got. The margaritas were sooo good, and they just kept on coming. I really started feeling the affects towards the end of the night, which is apparent by my lack of knowledge of the last half of the evening. I remember feeling absolutely awful, and throwing up out of Josh's window on the 101, going 70mph. But Josh is awesome and took care of me throughout the night, and on the plus side, I got rid of all those extra calories I consumed.

Sunday was a lot of fun. We had people over for the Superbowl, and I think we all had a good time. I made sure to track the points for what I was eating, and even though I went over by about 10 points, I had planned on letting myself use some of my allowance points yesterday. It was nice getting to "cheat" a little, and I didn't feel deprived. I was in control!

Now, time to start another week. Weigh-in is in 2 days, and I need to make the most of it. I am in charge of making dinner tonight, which means I won't be going to the gym, but hopefully I can work out at home a bit. I subscribed to some workout shows on Hulu+ that I can follow in the back room.

Day 16: Crisis Averted

Today I am talking about two separate crisis....'s. Whats the plural for crisis? Anyway.

I had to go in to the eye doctor so she could dilate my eyes and do a more thorough exam. You know, because I'm going blind! Anyway. She did the exam and all that and it was time to go home. She asked me if I felt okay driving, and I looked around and was like, yeah, I think I'll be good. And I get on the road, and IT IS NOT GOOD! The lights from all the cars were blurring together into just one big kaleidescope of light coming from all directions. I could make out the cars in front of me by their tail lights, but had difficulty deciphering their speed and when they had stopped. I didn't dare change lanes because that would require looking in my side mirrors with the even worse reflecting of bright white lights. Luckily, I made it home safe and sound. Crisis averted #1.

The next crisis had to do with dinner. Chicken pot pie. Chickeny, potatoey goodness with Pillsbury dough layered on top. Two sheets worth! I thought the recipe made 8 servings, and when I got home and looked at the recipe it was 6 servings which upped the points value to 15. And then we used different potatoes, which upped it to 16. Not a lot of bang for my buck. Luckily, we discovered we had only used 1lb of chicken and not two like the recipe called for and it did serve 8 after all, bring the points value back to 10. Phew! Crisis averted #2.

Today is Friday, and payday! Finally. I will be putting a pretty good chunk towards paying off my last credit card. I can't wait! Friday also means I get to treat myself to Subway! It's just a few blocks, so I always walk there, and get in some exercise, and I think I still have enough on my gift card to get me one more meal. Sweet!

Glasses are giving me vertigo. Sigh.

Day 15: Weigh-in Results!

Weigh-in Results!
I lost 1.8lbs last week, for a total of 2.6 in 2 weeks. I'm so pleased. And not only am I not slacking off, I'm actually getting more into it, being more precise with the tracking and realizing its importance. I'm not guessing, or telling myself, "Oh, I probably have enough points for that so I don't have to worry about counting them" like I've done countless times before.

And the best part is having a clean slate. I'm approaching this weight loss on a week to week outlook. Who cares about last week and who cares about this week. I just need to succeed THIS week.

Week Three Obstacles
Obstacle #1: Mexi-Casa. Your run of the mill mexican restaurant with all the fried tortilla chips, greasy tacos and cheesy burritos you could ask for. They don't have a menu online and they certainly don't have their nutritional's posted. But, it just so happens to be Josh-n-Laws FAVORITE restaurant. I'm still unsure about what to order that won't break the bank, but I'll figure it out. Chicken Fajitas seem to be recommended on most websites.
Obstacle #2. Superbowl. With BBQ, and Chips, and Dips and snacks to my hearts galore, with friends and family all participating in the binge. This is going to take some major planning, not only with making sure there are foods there for me to eat, but also portioning out and tracking some of the unhealthy things too. My goal is to have everything I will be eating planned and portioned out before anyone even gets there, perhaps even already set to the side. I really do not want to use my allowance points this week, and hopefully see another 1lb+ loss next week.

Life
In other news, I have an eye appointment after work. They're dilating my eyes to do a more thorough exam to hopefully figure out why my eyes are changing so quickly. I'm almost not sure what I want to hear. That yes, there IS something wrong, or NO, we don't see anything wrong, you're eyes are just changing quickly.

Random
I love my husband. He's the absolute best, and I know I don't show my appreciation nearly enough. He's kind, and loving, and is always helping around the house without complaint. Basically, he's awesome. He'd be REALLY awesome if he ordered me Flowers on Valentines Day to be delivered to my work, lol.

Day #14, Weigh-in Day!

Today is my second weigh in, and I'm looking forward to seeing the number. I know its over 1lb - hopefully closer to 2, but thats a number I can be proud of. I worked hard for it!

I planned out my meals, figured out points for the dinners my Mom makes, and measured and weighed my little heart away. I'm doing my best to not let myself become complacent with the program, and the new program is helping to avoid that. I can no longer guess at the points - which is good, and hopefully tonight I'll be able to get my points calculator instead of always having to go to a computer to figure it out.

I've always been sure to stay on top of tracking, as I know that will be major factor in succeeding. I've been trying to not only keep my paper tracker, but also tracking on the e-tools provided on the website.

Joshs show, Seriously Funny Kids, premiered last night. We all sat around and watched it together, and it was cute. My mom was even able to pause it right in time to see Josh's name in the credits, and while Josh wasn't all that excited about it, Rachele took a picture with her cell phone. Hopefully, they'll decide to do Season 2, and Josh can keep working for another 5 months. That would be great! That would take us until June, and if he can get another 3 month show after that, we'll be set and we can move in September, and we'll save enough that we can buy this:

Day 13, Measuring!

Diet

My parents, and Josh, have laughed at me the last couple nights because of my precise weighing and measuring of the food I'm eating. Yes, I can't blame them. It looks pretty silly when I'm sitting at the table serving up my food with a lime-green measuring cup. Whatevs. I even weighed my meat last night to make sure I had exactly 3oz. Okay, so maybe it was 3.05oz. Close enough. Regardless, I'm so proud of myself for not slacking.
Tonight is Taco Tuesday and that worries me slightly. Mostly for the tortillas fried in oil. How do you count points for that? Perhaps I'll make myself a soft taco.



Life
Got some time to talk to my Dad a bit more about my brother and the big "D". My brother is having a really hard time, being that ultimately it was his decision. I couldn't even imagine how scary that must be to have spent 11 years together, have 3 kids, and essentially have to start over. But, I know Craig isn't happy, and you can't spend your life with someone you don't love. Hopefully they'll get through this okay, and the kids will adjust to it.



Random Thoughts

I really really like Brian McCann. I think I had a dream about him last night. What's this infatuation about?! Where did it come from? I feel like a teenage girl again, which is really funny. Luckily, Josh is cool with it. I think he's got a few crushes of his own.