Day #12 - So Far, So Good (and Life)

So diet wise, I'm doing well. I had a minor slip up on Saturday because I completely underestimated the points of a Gyro. I was thinking somewhere in the 9-10point range, when it was really 16points. Live and learn.


I know I'm not supposed to, but I made up for it by eating less than my normal points yesterday, which wasn't hard considering I had 16 points left after dinner. I had a brownie, and 2 York Peppermint Patties for dessert and still had 8points left.

I'm headed back to the gym tonight as I haven't been in almost two weeks. I will be doing the TurboKick class at 5:30, which hopefully won't render me useless for the next few days like the Boot Camp class did. That was insane.

Now, on to life. The move has been most likely pushed to the middle of September, which is good as it gives us another month to save and the weather will be a bit nicer for our friends who are coming out with us. My job situation is still up in the air, and the latest I heard is that corporate is pushing more for a full transfer, meaning I'll work for a producer in the Atlanta office, as opposed to working for Darrow here in L.A. remotely from the Atlanta office. While, a job is good, I really enjoy working for Darrow, and like our clients. Changing to a different Producer scares me as more often than not, they're usually complete assholes. So we'll see!

I also found out last night the my Brother and his wife are getting a divorce. We've seen it coming for awhile now, so it's no surprise. But I just hate to think about how it'll affect the kids. Braxton already has anger issues, and I see him spiraling downward unless they really work hard to make sure he is adjusting. I hate seeing all those shows on A&E like intervention, where these kids became addicted to drugs after their parents divorced.

They've talked about having one central living space that would essentially be the kids house, and Craig and Cheryl would move in and out depending on whos time it is with the kids. I know they're doing that to make it easier on the kids, but I really don't see it being any better than having the kids go from house to house.

Anyway - that's about all I know.

Crazyness.

Weigh-In #1, Day 9

I lost 0.8lbs. Needless to say, I was disappointed. I could have done better. I used up almost all my allowance points, which explains the small loss, but it IS a loss, and I can't lose sight of that. I didn't gain it overnight, and I'm not going to lose it overnight either.

I'd also like to blame it on my lack of, you know, "going". It had been a couple of days, and was feeling pretty bloated, though no matter how often I tried it just wasn't happening. This is TMI, I know, but I took a laxative yesterday afternoon and it finally kicked in this morning.

But I know I need to do better with not using my allowance points. I didn't need to use them and I did just because of a lack of planning and lack of discipline.

It was a really hard week, aside from weight loss. I worked 10+ hours a day, usually without a lunch break, and it was just really stressful. People pissed me off left and right, and I'm physically and emotionally exhausted.

I'm going to the gym after work today because even though I'm tired, I need some physical activity. Although, maybe not - I really hurt my back somehow. Would it be that bad if I just went home and played the part of a couch potato for a night. I don't think so. Would it be that bad if I went to Target and bought all the Twilight movies and had a movie marathon. I think Josh would probably strangle me.

I'm tired.

3 hours of work.

I avoided eating a donut today. That's pretty good. I had egg beaters, with a english muffin, and subway for lunch. So far...so good. One meal at a time.

This post is so random.

Zzzzzzzzz.

Inspiration #1

So I was reading another blog that suggested posting pictures of their inspiration.

Today will focus on something I'd like to wear, and feel comfortable in this summer. I know I won't ever look like the model, but, I one day hope to be able to buy a bikini. Here are a couple that I love, and might just break down and buy - along with the tankini top option to tide me over until I'm bikini top ready:

Day #5! A little hiccup, but thats ok!

Saturday we had planned on spending the day over at Young and Nino's. Josh was working that morning right near their place so Josh (Baker) picked me up and we met Josh once he was done with work.

Young made this incredible dinner for us, which was quite unexpected, but delicious! It was a Stuffed Pizza, essentially a pizza casserole with a bisquick crust, and amazingly good. I was able to calculate the points and discovered that it was 12pts, which was fine since I had 17 points left. I also ended up eating a stuffed mushroom she had made which was 3pts. Again, delicious, and also within my points budget.

Until we left to go see a movie. We had planned on seeing True Grit, but while we were standing in line, they announced they only had seats in the front row so we decided to leave, and get some Fro Yo on the way home. The place we stopped at only took cash, which we had none of, and discovered a Baskin Robbins across the street. Okay, I said, I'll get a kids scoop of their low-fat menu. Uh huh, yeah right. I ended up getting a scoop of Mint Chocolate Chip and Jamoca instead. Can we say 18 points? I also ended up snacking (just a little bit) back at the house, and had a hard cider. So I totally blew that day, but I didn't let it bother me too much. I know I stayed within my "Weekly Allowance Points", and the possibility of a weight loss this Wednesday is just about certain.

Sunday was a new day, and a new start. I woke up and Josh and I went grocery shopping and I stocked up on fruits and veggies and egg beaters and salad, and some Lean Cuisines (they were on sale for $1.49!!). I got home and made some veggie scrambled eggs with an english muffin for brunch, had some fruit and veggies for a snack that afternoon, and ate a veggie stew for dinner. I actually had 16 points remaining, so I indulged in having 2 pieces of bread with my dinner, and then had 6 mini-york peppermint patties for dessert.

I'm feeling great and even though the weight isn't gone yet, my confidence is up 100%. It's probably all in my mind, but my pants actually felt a bit looser this morning.

I prepared some great food for myself this morning. I cut up fruits and veggies, made a salad, packed healthy food options like a lean cuisine lasagna, and some light yogurt. My bag was so packed I could barely get it open, and I realized this is really a lifestyle I can get used to. I do need to learn some filling lunch options other than frozen meals, but one step at a time.

Tonight I will be going to a TurboKick class at the gym, which hopefully will agree with me more than that BootCamp class I attended. Not only did I quit halfway into it, I was literally sore for the next 5 days. 5 days!

Okay - quick run down of points!

Breakfast: 3pts
Thomas Honey Wheat Double Fiber English Muffin, with Spray Butter and Cinnamon and Sugar sprinkled on top - 3pts
1 Cutie - 0pts
1 Coffee - 0pts

Snack: 3pts
Yoplait Light Berry Tort Yogurt - 3pts

Lunch: 9pts
Lean Cuisine Lasagna - 8pts
Salad with mushrooms, red and green peppers - 0pts
Feta Cheese - 1pt
Vinegar Dressing - 0pt
Carrots and Cucumbers - 0pts

Snack: 0pts
Strawberries, Blueberries and a Cutie - 0pts
Coffee - 0pts

Thats a total of 15 points, leaving me with 14 points for dinner. See all the food I get to eat! I'm totally loving this new plan, and I can't wait to see the results on Wednesday at my first weigh in!

Day 2 - Still on the wagon!

So it's day 2 of following the new Weight Watchers program, and I'm happy to say that I'm really enjoying it. I'm still not drinking enough water, but its a work in progress. I'm staying within my points, and I love the approach of this new program. I still haven't gone to the grocery store to stock up on the stuff that will really sustain me throughout the day, but I've been able to fit the food currently in the house into the program, dessert and all.

I'm sitting at home now watching TV, and I really am struggling with not walking into the kitchen and finding something to snack on. For some reason, thats something I struggle with here. If I were in my own apartment, I don't think I'd have this problem.

Tonight will be my first real obstacle, and I haven't quite figured out what approach I want to take. We're going out to a bar with friends, and I can either restrict myself completely and stay within my points, or I can splurge a bit and use some of my allowance points. It's nice to know that I have the choice.

Now the question is, what to do for dinner?

A New Start, Attempt #76

I am once again going to try this diet thing. Not a temporary fix, but a life long change. I need to change my mindset about how much I can eat, and about what exactly I'm shoving into my face. I have to take care of this body if I want to be alive and mobile when my grandchildren are around, and not be limited by my size and health.

I am starting a new life in Georgia in 8 months, and I'd really prefer to start it without the struggles of being overweight. Which means I have 8 months to lose 15-20 pounds. I know I can do it, because I've done it before and then some.

It will be a challenge to not graze on the unhealthy foods that my Mom keeps stocked in the house, and to not let her naivity of unhealthy foods persuade me into making unhealthy choices. I'm doing this because I don't want to be in her shoes at her age, which means I need to not make the same dietary choices she has made that got her to where she is today. I love my Mom, but that is one area that I don't want to be like her.

Food is not a priority in life. It does not dictate happiness, or how much fun I might be having. Food is fuel for my body. I need to give it just enough to allow me to live, and not a calorie more. Food is not a lifestyle, it is a tool - and thats the mindset I need to get into.

So here's to week #1. (I might have had half a donut today, but in my defense, that was before I decided to return to this journey).

(Here's also to forgiving myself to my slip-ups and mistakes, because no one is perfect).