I'm finally better from being sick. Turns out it wasn't Strep Throat after all - but all thats means is now I have no clue what made me have a fever of 102.8, body aches, chills, extremely sore and swollen throat and vomiting.
Josh was fantastic through it all, despite him being at work until 10pm on my sickest days. He did stay up from 2:30 until about 4:30, and drove in search of a 24 hour drug store to pick me up some Pepto Bismol, Aspirin, Gatorade and Ice Cream. It gives me a glimpse into the days of when I'll be pregnant and have morning sickness 24/7 and have weird ass cravings. He's going to be a wonderful husband and father....as long as he's not at work.
Wedding plans are underway again due to the fact that all my needed items are being discontinued. Wedding invitations and the Guest Book and Pen Set have been ordered. I'm waiting for the Garter set to come back into stock. And the two floral bridesmaid dresses should be ordered in the next week.
I'm hoping that by having so much done so far, wedding planning won't ever be too overwhelming.
Things that are done:
Wedding dress, tuxes, location for ceremony and reception (covers food and alcohol as well), dj and photographer (still need to put deposits down), invitations, guest book.
Things left to do:
Bridesmaid dresses (in process), flower girl dress (in process), florist (the most major thing), officiant, party favors, guest list, jewelry, hair and makeup.
There's going to be tons of small details that will swamp us in the end for sure...but, at least the big things will be out of the way. It's exciting.
Wedding will be 10 months away as of Thursday. It's comin fast!
Josh is in Detroit for 2 weeks, so thats sad. I'm going over to my parents tonight since I know there's nothing on TV to entertain me, but I'm almost regretting calling and telling her because I found out my sister won't be there. Now I'm stuck watching something awful with my Mom. Hopefully it won't be too bad. I've got SYTYCD to entertain me tomorrow and Thursday. Saturday is 4th of July which will be spent at the Marriot at Warner Center Park - hopefully they'll give us a room we can see the fireworks from. And then just one more week to get through. One of these days I'll get back to the gym.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
This is what I'm talking about - my vision of what my bridal party will look like. The solid dresses are really just for representation - I'm going to let my sisters pick what they think they look good in, but I think the dresses I picked would look fantastic. But this is what I meant with the 1/2 floral, 1/2 solid.
I'm going to complain so more, so deal with it.
Yesterday, I got an email from David's Bridal announcing that they were introducing their Fall Collection. I quickly scampered over to the site, and realized that my Orange Floral theme was being phased out. The bridesmaid dresses that I wanted (for 1/2 of my party) were no longer listed as a bridesmaids dress, though is still in the "Special Occassion" dresses. And the shoes to match - gone. Invitations and the Flower Girls dress are still there.
So, realizing I'd have to get my party there to try on dresses ASAP, I sent out a text to the party + Mom. That was my first mistake. I get an email from my Mom with a picture of a long flowy Orange dress saying that we should just have everyone wear this dress, because she doesn't think my bridesmaids should be wearing a short dress if I'm wearing a long dress. I don't know where or why this logic entered her brain.
I explained to her that it was that orange floral dresses that inspired the theme for this wedding, and without those, then there would be no point in keeping orange as my color at all. She didn't respond.
I'm fully aware that we might get in the store, get all the dresses on, and I might hate it. Fine. That'd be MY CHOICE, though. I really hope this is not the case, as the picture in my mind is one that I really love.
I know that certain members of my family are not a fan of the idea I have. The orange, the strapless floral. It becomes difficult when those people are more outspoken and I'm the pleaser. I don't want to give in and give up my idea because of their personal preferences. It is my wedding. I need to keep telling myself this.
Josh was going to come with me, be my rock, my sounding board, and be there in case all of this does fall apart, and we have to start from scratch. Here is where complaining point #2 comes in.
Josh is leaving for work for 2 weeks. 2 weeks! He has to go to Detroit to oversee the cast while they shoot the episodes for the show. Beth, the girl that was supposed to go, can't go due to family obligations. Funny how that never seems to be an option for Josh. So, he leaves next Monday and doesn't return until July 13. Which means he won't be there for what I know will be a hellish bridesmaid dress day, and he won't be here for 4th of July.
I know he has to go - it's the smart thing for him to do. The per diem he'll get alone will be the down payment for either the photographer or the DJ. And that's on top of his normal pay, plus whatever overtime he gets for weekends, etc. It just sucks! I'm not looking forward to it.
It was the complete opposite of what I wanted to hear after the previous nights conversation. That inkling of knowing that maybe we aren't as close as we should be, and wanting to work on fixing that, and now, we'll be apart for 2 weeks.
I'm not worried that our relationship is in jeopardy at all. We still love eachother more than we can imagine, and we can't wait to start our lives together. But like all relationships they take work, and this is something I want to work on and fix so that it doesn't grow and grow into something that could be harmful to our relationship down the line.
For us, for the wedding, it's what we have to do. For us, as a couple, not the best timing.
Yesterday, I got an email from David's Bridal announcing that they were introducing their Fall Collection. I quickly scampered over to the site, and realized that my Orange Floral theme was being phased out. The bridesmaid dresses that I wanted (for 1/2 of my party) were no longer listed as a bridesmaids dress, though is still in the "Special Occassion" dresses. And the shoes to match - gone. Invitations and the Flower Girls dress are still there.
So, realizing I'd have to get my party there to try on dresses ASAP, I sent out a text to the party + Mom. That was my first mistake. I get an email from my Mom with a picture of a long flowy Orange dress saying that we should just have everyone wear this dress, because she doesn't think my bridesmaids should be wearing a short dress if I'm wearing a long dress. I don't know where or why this logic entered her brain.
I explained to her that it was that orange floral dresses that inspired the theme for this wedding, and without those, then there would be no point in keeping orange as my color at all. She didn't respond.
I'm fully aware that we might get in the store, get all the dresses on, and I might hate it. Fine. That'd be MY CHOICE, though. I really hope this is not the case, as the picture in my mind is one that I really love.
I know that certain members of my family are not a fan of the idea I have. The orange, the strapless floral. It becomes difficult when those people are more outspoken and I'm the pleaser. I don't want to give in and give up my idea because of their personal preferences. It is my wedding. I need to keep telling myself this.
Josh was going to come with me, be my rock, my sounding board, and be there in case all of this does fall apart, and we have to start from scratch. Here is where complaining point #2 comes in.
Josh is leaving for work for 2 weeks. 2 weeks! He has to go to Detroit to oversee the cast while they shoot the episodes for the show. Beth, the girl that was supposed to go, can't go due to family obligations. Funny how that never seems to be an option for Josh. So, he leaves next Monday and doesn't return until July 13. Which means he won't be there for what I know will be a hellish bridesmaid dress day, and he won't be here for 4th of July.
I know he has to go - it's the smart thing for him to do. The per diem he'll get alone will be the down payment for either the photographer or the DJ. And that's on top of his normal pay, plus whatever overtime he gets for weekends, etc. It just sucks! I'm not looking forward to it.
It was the complete opposite of what I wanted to hear after the previous nights conversation. That inkling of knowing that maybe we aren't as close as we should be, and wanting to work on fixing that, and now, we'll be apart for 2 weeks.
I'm not worried that our relationship is in jeopardy at all. We still love eachother more than we can imagine, and we can't wait to start our lives together. But like all relationships they take work, and this is something I want to work on and fix so that it doesn't grow and grow into something that could be harmful to our relationship down the line.
For us, for the wedding, it's what we have to do. For us, as a couple, not the best timing.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Out of control (a bit of TMI, so beware)
Life has been rough lately...
My organized, routine life has been thrown out of the window and I'm suffering because of it. Between the recent trips I've had in the past month, the financial troubles I've run into, the short staff at work, everything has gone to hell in a handbasket.
Work is hectic, I have no clue what is getting done, and I dread coming here. It's not like I ever was excited about my work day, but I knew I could come in, get done what needed to get done, and make people happy. Not anymore. My usually clean desk is cluttered with other peoples work that I have no clue how to do, yet am expected to do. Things are falling through the cracks left and right. There is so much to do yet all my energy is spent on trying to just focus, stay calm, and try and get through this hellish time. Unforunately, our busiest time is yet to come and I can only hope that my absent team members will feel that perhaps they should come into work.
My diet has gone out the window too - along with my gym going. I was doing so well, had lost 10lbs and was on a steady 4-5 days per week of attending the gym. I think I've been 3 times in the past 4 weeks. I gained 4lbs in one week while on my trip, and while determined to lose that by this thursday - I've not done anything to help it by eating panda express, drinking tons and eating brownies, and having pizza between thursday - sunday. I actually was sitting in the bathtub last night wishing I was dumb enough to actually throw up my dinner. I didn't...I could never do that.
Now here comes the TMI part...Josh and I are having intimacy issues, and the issues are on my part. I have absolutely no sex drive, and Josh's jokey approach to sex makes me unwilling to make any sort of advance. He thinks that I'm not physically attracted to him and that is completely not the case. I'm hoping beyond all hope, that my decrease in sex drive has to do with the nuva-ring, the birth control i started shortly after Josh and I got together. I have an appointment a week from today to switch back to a normal pill. I'm also hoping that will fix my "self-lubrication" problem as well. We got in a huge argument last night, and although "resolved" I still know Josh isn't happy, and disappointed - and those feelings alone have completely drained me of energy today. I don't even have the energy to try and pretend that I'm in a good mood, and put up a front in front of my coworkers. I'm hoping that they get the hint and just leave me alone today.
So - things that need to change:
Eat right, follow Weight Watchers EVERY DAY, even on the weekends
Get back to the gym and start going on a regular basis
Work out at home when I decide not to go to the gym (though take it easy on the new EA Active on WII as its been two days and I can still barely walk)
Hope coworkers come back and take off work stress
Make an effort to show Josh that I am attracted to him physically
Don't spend money (I've been pretty good about this, except for yesterday when I splurged on panties at Victoria Secret. They were 5 for $25 and I needed to replace old dingy underwear desperately)
My organized, routine life has been thrown out of the window and I'm suffering because of it. Between the recent trips I've had in the past month, the financial troubles I've run into, the short staff at work, everything has gone to hell in a handbasket.
Work is hectic, I have no clue what is getting done, and I dread coming here. It's not like I ever was excited about my work day, but I knew I could come in, get done what needed to get done, and make people happy. Not anymore. My usually clean desk is cluttered with other peoples work that I have no clue how to do, yet am expected to do. Things are falling through the cracks left and right. There is so much to do yet all my energy is spent on trying to just focus, stay calm, and try and get through this hellish time. Unforunately, our busiest time is yet to come and I can only hope that my absent team members will feel that perhaps they should come into work.
My diet has gone out the window too - along with my gym going. I was doing so well, had lost 10lbs and was on a steady 4-5 days per week of attending the gym. I think I've been 3 times in the past 4 weeks. I gained 4lbs in one week while on my trip, and while determined to lose that by this thursday - I've not done anything to help it by eating panda express, drinking tons and eating brownies, and having pizza between thursday - sunday. I actually was sitting in the bathtub last night wishing I was dumb enough to actually throw up my dinner. I didn't...I could never do that.
Now here comes the TMI part...Josh and I are having intimacy issues, and the issues are on my part. I have absolutely no sex drive, and Josh's jokey approach to sex makes me unwilling to make any sort of advance. He thinks that I'm not physically attracted to him and that is completely not the case. I'm hoping beyond all hope, that my decrease in sex drive has to do with the nuva-ring, the birth control i started shortly after Josh and I got together. I have an appointment a week from today to switch back to a normal pill. I'm also hoping that will fix my "self-lubrication" problem as well. We got in a huge argument last night, and although "resolved" I still know Josh isn't happy, and disappointed - and those feelings alone have completely drained me of energy today. I don't even have the energy to try and pretend that I'm in a good mood, and put up a front in front of my coworkers. I'm hoping that they get the hint and just leave me alone today.
So - things that need to change:
Eat right, follow Weight Watchers EVERY DAY, even on the weekends
Get back to the gym and start going on a regular basis
Work out at home when I decide not to go to the gym (though take it easy on the new EA Active on WII as its been two days and I can still barely walk)
Hope coworkers come back and take off work stress
Make an effort to show Josh that I am attracted to him physically
Don't spend money (I've been pretty good about this, except for yesterday when I splurged on panties at Victoria Secret. They were 5 for $25 and I needed to replace old dingy underwear desperately)
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Stupid Vacation
Although I wasn't doing great, diet wise before I went on vacation, the trip really put a kink in things. I gained for the first time after the trip, although only .8, and it stopped my Gym routine. I still haven't been back.
That'll start...tomorrow. I have plans tonight, so deal with it.
I lost 1.2 though this past week, which I wasn't expecting at all. I haven't been great, especially over the weekend, but I think because it was better than the week I had before, that made the difference. If I can lose 2lbs by next Thursday, I'll be at 140 by the trip. I wanted to be 135, but I'll take what I can get. I feel better, and look better than the last time I saw everyone at New Years, so that'll be nice.
I don't want Josh's family and friends to think that he's marrying a fatty. I suppose I should get back to work. I don't wannnaa.
Laker game tonight. Woot.
That'll start...tomorrow. I have plans tonight, so deal with it.
I lost 1.2 though this past week, which I wasn't expecting at all. I haven't been great, especially over the weekend, but I think because it was better than the week I had before, that made the difference. If I can lose 2lbs by next Thursday, I'll be at 140 by the trip. I wanted to be 135, but I'll take what I can get. I feel better, and look better than the last time I saw everyone at New Years, so that'll be nice.
I don't want Josh's family and friends to think that he's marrying a fatty. I suppose I should get back to work. I don't wannnaa.
Laker game tonight. Woot.
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