Life has been rough lately...
My organized, routine life has been thrown out of the window and I'm suffering because of it. Between the recent trips I've had in the past month, the financial troubles I've run into, the short staff at work, everything has gone to hell in a handbasket.
Work is hectic, I have no clue what is getting done, and I dread coming here. It's not like I ever was excited about my work day, but I knew I could come in, get done what needed to get done, and make people happy. Not anymore. My usually clean desk is cluttered with other peoples work that I have no clue how to do, yet am expected to do. Things are falling through the cracks left and right. There is so much to do yet all my energy is spent on trying to just focus, stay calm, and try and get through this hellish time. Unforunately, our busiest time is yet to come and I can only hope that my absent team members will feel that perhaps they should come into work.
My diet has gone out the window too - along with my gym going. I was doing so well, had lost 10lbs and was on a steady 4-5 days per week of attending the gym. I think I've been 3 times in the past 4 weeks. I gained 4lbs in one week while on my trip, and while determined to lose that by this thursday - I've not done anything to help it by eating panda express, drinking tons and eating brownies, and having pizza between thursday - sunday. I actually was sitting in the bathtub last night wishing I was dumb enough to actually throw up my dinner. I didn't...I could never do that.
Now here comes the TMI part...Josh and I are having intimacy issues, and the issues are on my part. I have absolutely no sex drive, and Josh's jokey approach to sex makes me unwilling to make any sort of advance. He thinks that I'm not physically attracted to him and that is completely not the case. I'm hoping beyond all hope, that my decrease in sex drive has to do with the nuva-ring, the birth control i started shortly after Josh and I got together. I have an appointment a week from today to switch back to a normal pill. I'm also hoping that will fix my "self-lubrication" problem as well. We got in a huge argument last night, and although "resolved" I still know Josh isn't happy, and disappointed - and those feelings alone have completely drained me of energy today. I don't even have the energy to try and pretend that I'm in a good mood, and put up a front in front of my coworkers. I'm hoping that they get the hint and just leave me alone today.
So - things that need to change:
Eat right, follow Weight Watchers EVERY DAY, even on the weekends
Get back to the gym and start going on a regular basis
Work out at home when I decide not to go to the gym (though take it easy on the new EA Active on WII as its been two days and I can still barely walk)
Hope coworkers come back and take off work stress
Make an effort to show Josh that I am attracted to him physically
Don't spend money (I've been pretty good about this, except for yesterday when I splurged on panties at Victoria Secret. They were 5 for $25 and I needed to replace old dingy underwear desperately)
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