3 days to go until the big rafting trip! I'm so excited, yet sad that it will go by so quickly. I wish this were a weeklong trip. Oh well.
I didn't weigh myself this morning. It'll only depress me more. I don't feel lighter. My clothes don't feel different. I'm trying not to get discouraged and give up all together. I really am baffled as to why its not coming off. I had 2 slightly bad days, but that doesn't warrant this complete stand still/gain I've been experiencing. I'm still working hard.
Anyway - I should get to work...it's insane!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Bootcamp, etc.
Bootcamp was killer last night. We ran the trail behind the church which has two pretty big hills. We had to stop at those hills and run up them 5 times. It was sooo tiring. Then we did some strength conditioning and abs.
When I got home, Josh and I went to the gym and I did some walking on the treadmill. I tried running but was just too tired and was starting to get some pain in the front of my hip. I burned 100 calories, so thats something.
I'm working hard. Really hard. I'm staying within my points (with the exception of this weekend), and I'm not seeing the results. I'm not losing weight. I've been stuck at 139 for the past week and it sucks. What am I doing all this work for if its not going to result in anything.
I'm really starting to get discouraged. I'm now 3lbs over what I hoped I'd be at today, and will definitely not reach my rafting goal.
When I got home, Josh and I went to the gym and I did some walking on the treadmill. I tried running but was just too tired and was starting to get some pain in the front of my hip. I burned 100 calories, so thats something.
I'm working hard. Really hard. I'm staying within my points (with the exception of this weekend), and I'm not seeing the results. I'm not losing weight. I've been stuck at 139 for the past week and it sucks. What am I doing all this work for if its not going to result in anything.
I'm really starting to get discouraged. I'm now 3lbs over what I hoped I'd be at today, and will definitely not reach my rafting goal.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Hate
I can officially say that I hate my body. I weighed in on Friday at 137.9 and was finally feeling like I was back on track. I ate well on Friday - had Subway for Breakfast and Lunch, and a Under 550 Calorie Meal at Applebees later that night. I woke up Saturday morning for my Pilates, and even after having a BM, weighed in at 139.2. I was so angry. What did I do to deserve that?! After exercise, and following the program. What?!
Now, needless to say, I didn't eat that well this weekend.
Saturday afternoon we met up with Bonnie, and Josh, Joe, Deb and myself drove down to San Diego to work an event, a "platinum ball" at a school that was celebrating their 20th Anniversary. We pretended to be Paparazzi and take pictures while the guests walked down the Red Carpet. We stopped so people could have lunch (granted it was around 4pm by this point), but we knew it'd be awhile before we could eat again. I had already had lunch, my leftover Subway, but was absolutely STARVING! We stopped between a In-N-Out and a Chik-fil-A. I went to Chik-fil-A. I ordered a Spicy Chicken Sandwich with fries, and it was delicious. I consumed FAR too many calories in that one meal alone.
After we played Paparazzi, one of the coordinators asked us if we could help out in the "kitchen", and we said sure. More money! She walked us over to where the catering company was set up, and ended up sitting around for awhile, but once dinner was ready to be served, we got put to work.
They had us plating the dinners for the 300 guests that were in attendance. They had three lines, each responsible for 100 plates. I was on the meat station, which meant that I took the plate from the potato person, delicately prop my meat on top of the potato and hand it to the vegetable person. She handed that to the fish person, who handed it to the mushroom person, who handed it to the sauce person. I think I overheard we finished dinner service in about 15 minutes.
Once we cleared dinner, we got set up for dessert. We had to lay out all 300 plates, and they were brushed with a strawberry sauce, and then we put a shotglass of cake, and and some kind of fancy lolly-pop, and then a tiny tiny silver spoon was placed on each plate.
It was crazy and slightly hectic but pretty fun. If we get paid the same rate for the paparazzi, we should be getting another $100 for the last 2 hours we were there. We'll find out later this week.
We stopped to get gas on the way home and I got a Slim-Jim (it looked so good) and a Vitamin Water Zero. And when I got home, I ate two granola bars.
So....my eating could have gone worse.
Then there was Sunday. We had planned to go to a Cuban restaurant with Nino and Young, so I knew I needed to save my points. I slept late enough that I didn't eat breakfast and went straight to lunch, which was only 5pts, and then had a 2pt snack a bit later. I had a shredded beef with rice type of dinner...which probably wasn't horrible. But if you count the 3 pieces of bread I ate, and then the two brownies I ate later that Young had made. Ugh!
I can't be too upset with myself though. I didn't go overboard, and probably stayed within my 35 weekly allowance points that I never let myself use. And too make up for it, I'll be sure that I'm at the gym every day this week until we leave for Sacramento.
Which brings me to, my goal.
Will I make it? Probably not. Especially since my weight has been jumping back up to 139 no matter what I seem to do. I'll keep trying, and eating healthy, and working towards that goal...but it won't happen by Saturday. Not unless I go all Biggest Loser on you and start working out 4 hours a day. Mayyyybe, then.
I'm only human, and I know that I'm doing the best I possibly can, and that the results will show up sooner or later. Does it piss me off? Hell yeah. I really wanted to accomplish my goal. But it doesn't mean I'll stop trying just because I most likely won't succeed in reaching that goal I've set for myself. It just means I'll reach that goal a little later than I would have wanted. The point is that I reach that goal at all.
Now, needless to say, I didn't eat that well this weekend.
Saturday afternoon we met up with Bonnie, and Josh, Joe, Deb and myself drove down to San Diego to work an event, a "platinum ball" at a school that was celebrating their 20th Anniversary. We pretended to be Paparazzi and take pictures while the guests walked down the Red Carpet. We stopped so people could have lunch (granted it was around 4pm by this point), but we knew it'd be awhile before we could eat again. I had already had lunch, my leftover Subway, but was absolutely STARVING! We stopped between a In-N-Out and a Chik-fil-A. I went to Chik-fil-A. I ordered a Spicy Chicken Sandwich with fries, and it was delicious. I consumed FAR too many calories in that one meal alone.
After we played Paparazzi, one of the coordinators asked us if we could help out in the "kitchen", and we said sure. More money! She walked us over to where the catering company was set up, and ended up sitting around for awhile, but once dinner was ready to be served, we got put to work.
They had us plating the dinners for the 300 guests that were in attendance. They had three lines, each responsible for 100 plates. I was on the meat station, which meant that I took the plate from the potato person, delicately prop my meat on top of the potato and hand it to the vegetable person. She handed that to the fish person, who handed it to the mushroom person, who handed it to the sauce person. I think I overheard we finished dinner service in about 15 minutes.
Once we cleared dinner, we got set up for dessert. We had to lay out all 300 plates, and they were brushed with a strawberry sauce, and then we put a shotglass of cake, and and some kind of fancy lolly-pop, and then a tiny tiny silver spoon was placed on each plate.
It was crazy and slightly hectic but pretty fun. If we get paid the same rate for the paparazzi, we should be getting another $100 for the last 2 hours we were there. We'll find out later this week.
We stopped to get gas on the way home and I got a Slim-Jim (it looked so good) and a Vitamin Water Zero. And when I got home, I ate two granola bars.
So....my eating could have gone worse.
Then there was Sunday. We had planned to go to a Cuban restaurant with Nino and Young, so I knew I needed to save my points. I slept late enough that I didn't eat breakfast and went straight to lunch, which was only 5pts, and then had a 2pt snack a bit later. I had a shredded beef with rice type of dinner...which probably wasn't horrible. But if you count the 3 pieces of bread I ate, and then the two brownies I ate later that Young had made. Ugh!
I can't be too upset with myself though. I didn't go overboard, and probably stayed within my 35 weekly allowance points that I never let myself use. And too make up for it, I'll be sure that I'm at the gym every day this week until we leave for Sacramento.
Which brings me to, my goal.
Will I make it? Probably not. Especially since my weight has been jumping back up to 139 no matter what I seem to do. I'll keep trying, and eating healthy, and working towards that goal...but it won't happen by Saturday. Not unless I go all Biggest Loser on you and start working out 4 hours a day. Mayyyybe, then.
I'm only human, and I know that I'm doing the best I possibly can, and that the results will show up sooner or later. Does it piss me off? Hell yeah. I really wanted to accomplish my goal. But it doesn't mean I'll stop trying just because I most likely won't succeed in reaching that goal I've set for myself. It just means I'll reach that goal a little later than I would have wanted. The point is that I reach that goal at all.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Ah, that's more like it!
Boot Camp was tough last night. Like, I was sweaty at the end of our warm up, tough. We did circuit training again. 16 stations, 1/2 cardio and 1/2 strength. For some reason, push ups were our last station, and I was dead by then. I trudged through them.
I came home and had a boiled chicken breast with some mixed veggies. Then I got hungry about 3 hours later and decided to eat the last leftover piece of pizza from the boys' dinner because I still had 5pts left. Then I realized that I had a snack before bootcamp, and didn't not have 5pts left after all. So I threw the half a slice I hadn't eaten away.
All that must have paid off - along with my "accomplishments" yesterday. I weighed myself this morning and was down a POUND from yesterday weigh-in. Holy Lord, Thank You Jesus! I'm just now .3lbs above my "daily goal" and I'm 100% okay with that. I'm now 137.9 which is a weight I haven't seen in a long time. I'm feeling good.
Today is Subway Friday, which means I stopped in and got my Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner before work. 12pts for the Foot Long (1/2 for Lunch and 1/2 for Dinner) and 3pts for the Breakfast Muffin. Which I'm going to go eat now!
Woooo - yay for feeling motivated again!
I came home and had a boiled chicken breast with some mixed veggies. Then I got hungry about 3 hours later and decided to eat the last leftover piece of pizza from the boys' dinner because I still had 5pts left. Then I realized that I had a snack before bootcamp, and didn't not have 5pts left after all. So I threw the half a slice I hadn't eaten away.
All that must have paid off - along with my "accomplishments" yesterday. I weighed myself this morning and was down a POUND from yesterday weigh-in. Holy Lord, Thank You Jesus! I'm just now .3lbs above my "daily goal" and I'm 100% okay with that. I'm now 137.9 which is a weight I haven't seen in a long time. I'm feeling good.
Today is Subway Friday, which means I stopped in and got my Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner before work. 12pts for the Foot Long (1/2 for Lunch and 1/2 for Dinner) and 3pts for the Breakfast Muffin. Which I'm going to go eat now!
Woooo - yay for feeling motivated again!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Food 6/24/2010
Breakfast:
Slim-Rite Chocolate Shake - 3pts
Total: 3pts
Lunch:
Tuna Salad Sandwich - 3pts
Apples: 0pts
Applesauce with Fiber - 1pt
Total: 4pts
Snack:
Yogurt: 1pt
100 Calorie Lorna Dorne Cookies: 2pts
Total: 3pts
Exercise: 1 Hour Boot Camp
Dinner: TBD
Total Used: 10pts
Total Remaining: 10pts
Slim-Rite Chocolate Shake - 3pts
Total: 3pts
Lunch:
Tuna Salad Sandwich - 3pts
Apples: 0pts
Applesauce with Fiber - 1pt
Total: 4pts
Snack:
Yogurt: 1pt
100 Calorie Lorna Dorne Cookies: 2pts
Total: 3pts
Exercise: 1 Hour Boot Camp
Dinner: TBD
Total Used: 10pts
Total Remaining: 10pts
Finally!
I was able to *ahem*go*ahem.
It was a joyous experience, and I had to suck up my insecurities, and just do it. Usually, if there is anyone else in the bathroom, I can't. I refuse. But I went in to do #1 while another stall was occupied, and I realized that it was time! And I went.
It felt great to not be worrying about that anymore. Hopefully the scale will reflect these achievements tomorrow.
Sorry about the TMI - but this is my blog damnit!
It was a joyous experience, and I had to suck up my insecurities, and just do it. Usually, if there is anyone else in the bathroom, I can't. I refuse. But I went in to do #1 while another stall was occupied, and I realized that it was time! And I went.
It felt great to not be worrying about that anymore. Hopefully the scale will reflect these achievements tomorrow.
Sorry about the TMI - but this is my blog damnit!
Don't Give Up!
I didn't go to the gym last night. I couldn't. Every muscle hurt and I didn't want to be a puddle on the floor before Boot Camp tonight. My upper/inner thighs are still a bit sore, but at least I can move today.
I started thinking about my daily weigh-ins, and my daily weight goals. Is it a good idea? Absolutely not. Not reaching my daily goals made me take for granted the 2.5lbs loss I had last week. Instead of being proud, I was disappointed that I didn't lose that extra pound that would put me on track.
However, I am liking weighing myself every day. You can't ignore it, or decide to "cheat", because I'll see it the very next morning.
Now, I'm about to go into TMI land, and point fingers as to why I think I'm not losing as much weight. I haven't had a BM since Monday, and it's driving me crazy. I plant myself on the pot, and honestly, try! And nothing. It's not like I'm not getting enough Fiber in my diet, or drinking enough water. I think it's my body playing mean tricks on me. Like it doesn't want me to lose weight.
I'm onto you body! I'll get the best of you! You can't hold out on me forever!!!!
So, if I'm still unsuccessful in my quest by the end of the work day today, I believe we have some magic pills at home that should solve all my problems.
Now, for things that don't involve my diet.
Gas.
No, not that kind...
I needed to stop and fuel up my vehicle this morning. This is always tough for me as I'd much rather run that little bug into the ground and stomp and squish it with all my might. It's probably not healthy to hate your own car so much.
Anyway, like I was saying. I stopped to get some gas. My car was also FILTHY so I decided to go to a gas station with a car wash. Neither of these things proved successful. I was about 40 seconds into my fill-up when it just stopped pumping. I tried pulling up the handle again, nothing. Took it out and repositioned it. Nothing. Pressed the Unleaded button. Nothing. I walk over to the attendant and she tries the same things. Nothing. Apparently, the Vacuum Pump has shut off.
She says she can cancel my transaction and start over somewhere else, but I declined. I had enough to get me to work, and didn't want to deal with it. Then I realized that I never saw the option to add the car wash. So I ended up with 3 gallons of gas and a dirty car. Not a productive morning.
I started thinking about my daily weigh-ins, and my daily weight goals. Is it a good idea? Absolutely not. Not reaching my daily goals made me take for granted the 2.5lbs loss I had last week. Instead of being proud, I was disappointed that I didn't lose that extra pound that would put me on track.
However, I am liking weighing myself every day. You can't ignore it, or decide to "cheat", because I'll see it the very next morning.
Now, I'm about to go into TMI land, and point fingers as to why I think I'm not losing as much weight. I haven't had a BM since Monday, and it's driving me crazy. I plant myself on the pot, and honestly, try! And nothing. It's not like I'm not getting enough Fiber in my diet, or drinking enough water. I think it's my body playing mean tricks on me. Like it doesn't want me to lose weight.
I'm onto you body! I'll get the best of you! You can't hold out on me forever!!!!
So, if I'm still unsuccessful in my quest by the end of the work day today, I believe we have some magic pills at home that should solve all my problems.
Now, for things that don't involve my diet.
Gas.
No, not that kind...
I needed to stop and fuel up my vehicle this morning. This is always tough for me as I'd much rather run that little bug into the ground and stomp and squish it with all my might. It's probably not healthy to hate your own car so much.
Anyway, like I was saying. I stopped to get some gas. My car was also FILTHY so I decided to go to a gas station with a car wash. Neither of these things proved successful. I was about 40 seconds into my fill-up when it just stopped pumping. I tried pulling up the handle again, nothing. Took it out and repositioned it. Nothing. Pressed the Unleaded button. Nothing. I walk over to the attendant and she tries the same things. Nothing. Apparently, the Vacuum Pump has shut off.
She says she can cancel my transaction and start over somewhere else, but I declined. I had enough to get me to work, and didn't want to deal with it. Then I realized that I never saw the option to add the car wash. So I ended up with 3 gallons of gas and a dirty car. Not a productive morning.
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