Hate

I can officially say that I hate my body. I weighed in on Friday at 137.9 and was finally feeling like I was back on track. I ate well on Friday - had Subway for Breakfast and Lunch, and a Under 550 Calorie Meal at Applebees later that night. I woke up Saturday morning for my Pilates, and even after having a BM, weighed in at 139.2. I was so angry. What did I do to deserve that?! After exercise, and following the program. What?!

Now, needless to say, I didn't eat that well this weekend.

Saturday afternoon we met up with Bonnie, and Josh, Joe, Deb and myself drove down to San Diego to work an event, a "platinum ball" at a school that was celebrating their 20th Anniversary. We pretended to be Paparazzi and take pictures while the guests walked down the Red Carpet. We stopped so people could have lunch (granted it was around 4pm by this point), but we knew it'd be awhile before we could eat again. I had already had lunch, my leftover Subway, but was absolutely STARVING! We stopped between a In-N-Out and a Chik-fil-A. I went to Chik-fil-A. I ordered a Spicy Chicken Sandwich with fries, and it was delicious. I consumed FAR too many calories in that one meal alone.

After we played Paparazzi, one of the coordinators asked us if we could help out in the "kitchen", and we said sure. More money! She walked us over to where the catering company was set up, and ended up sitting around for awhile, but once dinner was ready to be served, we got put to work.

They had us plating the dinners for the 300 guests that were in attendance. They had three lines, each responsible for 100 plates. I was on the meat station, which meant that I took the plate from the potato person, delicately prop my meat on top of the potato and hand it to the vegetable person. She handed that to the fish person, who handed it to the mushroom person, who handed it to the sauce person. I think I overheard we finished dinner service in about 15 minutes.

Once we cleared dinner, we got set up for dessert. We had to lay out all 300 plates, and they were brushed with a strawberry sauce, and then we put a shotglass of cake, and and some kind of fancy lolly-pop, and then a tiny tiny silver spoon was placed on each plate.

It was crazy and slightly hectic but pretty fun. If we get paid the same rate for the paparazzi, we should be getting another $100 for the last 2 hours we were there. We'll find out later this week.

We stopped to get gas on the way home and I got a Slim-Jim (it looked so good) and a Vitamin Water Zero. And when I got home, I ate two granola bars.

So....my eating could have gone worse.

Then there was Sunday. We had planned to go to a Cuban restaurant with Nino and Young, so I knew I needed to save my points. I slept late enough that I didn't eat breakfast and went straight to lunch, which was only 5pts, and then had a 2pt snack a bit later. I had a shredded beef with rice type of dinner...which probably wasn't horrible. But if you count the 3 pieces of bread I ate, and then the two brownies I ate later that Young had made. Ugh!

I can't be too upset with myself though. I didn't go overboard, and probably stayed within my 35 weekly allowance points that I never let myself use. And too make up for it, I'll be sure that I'm at the gym every day this week until we leave for Sacramento.

Which brings me to, my goal.

Will I make it? Probably not. Especially since my weight has been jumping back up to 139 no matter what I seem to do. I'll keep trying, and eating healthy, and working towards that goal...but it won't happen by Saturday. Not unless I go all Biggest Loser on you and start working out 4 hours a day. Mayyyybe, then.

I'm only human, and I know that I'm doing the best I possibly can, and that the results will show up sooner or later. Does it piss me off? Hell yeah. I really wanted to accomplish my goal. But it doesn't mean I'll stop trying just because I most likely won't succeed in reaching that goal I've set for myself. It just means I'll reach that goal a little later than I would have wanted. The point is that I reach that goal at all.