Day 34, Motivation

In this day and age, when society tells us that women should be thin, be a size 0, it's easy to feel bad about yourself. It's easy to get caught up in that and strive to make society happy.

Sure, I'd like to be thinner and feel more comfortable in my clothes and about my body, not always avoiding trying on clothes because it won't fit over certain lumps and bulges, or because it's just unflattering. Sure, I'd like to be able to wear a bikini, and not be ashamed to walk around the pool or on the beach and wonder how much of me jiggles as I walk.

But the truth of it all is that I want to be healthy. I'm in the "overweight" range right now, meaning that my BMI is between 25.1 and 29, and with this comes various medical issues. High cholesterol is something I've dealt with all my life, and with my dads recent history with heart attacks, thats a big concern.

But I also see my family struggling with, or giving up on their weight. I love my Mom to death, but I don't want to be like her. She has trouble walking around, she gets tired easily and is always in pain. She can't run around and play with her grandkids. She isn't even able to go with us to Disneyland because she can't stand or walk that long. I have her genes, and therefor, I have the potential to become that.

Even though my body will never go back to the way it was after I have kids, I want to be at my goal weight when I get pregnant. I don't want to have to lose the baby fat, plus the weight I've carried for most of my life in order to be a healthy Mom for my kids. I want to be an example for them as well, and teach them how to live a healthy lifestyle so that don't have to struggle with this like I have for the past 15 years.

I'm 26, married, and about to start a family in a couple of years - I'm not in the setting to be selfish about this choice. So sure, it'll be nice to be able to wear a bikini for a little bit, but it'll be priceless to have the health and energy to live a long and healthy life and watch my kids, and their kids grow up.