I'm really tired of a lot of my clothes. I envision myself having a certain type of style, but I don't have the money to purchase new clothes, let alone the body to pull it off.
Despite having lost about 15lbs this year, I'm still quite unhappy with my body. It doesn't help that according to the doctor, I'm still an overweight adult. I went bathing suit shopping recently and was immensely disappointed with what I saw.
I want to change my image, both physically and materialistically. I'm older, I'm married, and the person I portray needs to reflect that. I wish I could just throw on a pair of jeans, a cute shirt, pull my hair back in a pony tail and look pretty. Instead I worry about the fit of the shirt, does it flatter my belly pooch, are my jeans flattering my butt, put on an array of makeup and blowdry and straighten my hair with surgical precision.
I need to lose weight and get fit - yet, what did I do yesterday? Eat Wendy's. I won't blame myself for not working out because I've tweaked my neck and still don't have my full range of motion back. But I desperately need to go back soon.
So, I've created a short term goal for myself. 5lbs by rafting which is about 3 weeks away. And focus on working on my upper body strength specifically for rafting.
I want to be a fit active person, and I know that I've already started habits in my life that would lead in the opposite direction, the same direction my family has taken to immobility and unhealthyness. I don't want to be like them.
So tonight, I will make my way to the treadmill. I'll hold off on the arms until my neck is better, but treadmill it will be!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The LONG weekend!
So I really wanted to post yesterday, but blogger was down in the morning, and by the time it was working I was too involved in work to even start.
Even though I should be working at this moment, I'm not.
So - the weekend. It was interesting. Saturday was probably the most boring day I've had in a long time. I desperately wanted to get out, do stuff, but it didn't work out that way. We sat, and sat, and sat. No movies, no beach, no hanging out with friends. It baffles me that Josh is content doing this, as he's out of work, and sits at home like this every day. I decided to start on my 2009 Book that I'd totally procrastinated on doing last year. I actually finished it that same day.
I sometimes feel like Josh and I get bored of eachother. I think it's just him not being at work, and being home, and us always being together. I know he's down right now, not having work, and being so broke. I had to loan him some cash yesterday to pay rent (a week late), and now, we're both completely broke. I can tell its weighing heavily on him, but he won't talk about it. I know he feels like he's letting us down, especially in our first month of being married. It's not his fault. It happens.
Sunday however, was pretty fun. Josh had gotten free Dodger tickets for Sunday - and while Josh enjoys baseball, he was especially excited because the Dodgers were playing the Braves. We had 8 tickets, so we gathered up some friends and made our way down there. It was an extremely hot day, and our seats were in the sun for all 11 innings. It was a fun game though, and I got to eat my chocolate malt with the wooden spoon, like I've always done at Dodger games. Unfortunately for Josh, the Braves lost.
After the game we bolted over to my parents who were waiting to watch Game 2 of the Lakers vs. Celtics Finals. It was a close game for a lot of it, and kept us all on the edge of our seats. In the end, the Lakers also succumbed to the Celtics, tying the series 1-1.
I went back to work on Monday surprising well rested, and the day flew by. I think because it went so fast, I wasn't so drained of life by the time I left, and really had a hard time getting to sleep. I think I was excited about rafting finally being reserved. I probably shouldn't have spent the money on that until I knew Josh and I would be ok.
We're both going to have to be on some major lock down this week until more of Josh's checks start coming in. I can't wait until we move, and Josh has a steady, stable job, and we can stop worrying about the next show, the next unemployment check. That'll be nice.
Even though I should be working at this moment, I'm not.
So - the weekend. It was interesting. Saturday was probably the most boring day I've had in a long time. I desperately wanted to get out, do stuff, but it didn't work out that way. We sat, and sat, and sat. No movies, no beach, no hanging out with friends. It baffles me that Josh is content doing this, as he's out of work, and sits at home like this every day. I decided to start on my 2009 Book that I'd totally procrastinated on doing last year. I actually finished it that same day.
I sometimes feel like Josh and I get bored of eachother. I think it's just him not being at work, and being home, and us always being together. I know he's down right now, not having work, and being so broke. I had to loan him some cash yesterday to pay rent (a week late), and now, we're both completely broke. I can tell its weighing heavily on him, but he won't talk about it. I know he feels like he's letting us down, especially in our first month of being married. It's not his fault. It happens.
Sunday however, was pretty fun. Josh had gotten free Dodger tickets for Sunday - and while Josh enjoys baseball, he was especially excited because the Dodgers were playing the Braves. We had 8 tickets, so we gathered up some friends and made our way down there. It was an extremely hot day, and our seats were in the sun for all 11 innings. It was a fun game though, and I got to eat my chocolate malt with the wooden spoon, like I've always done at Dodger games. Unfortunately for Josh, the Braves lost.
After the game we bolted over to my parents who were waiting to watch Game 2 of the Lakers vs. Celtics Finals. It was a close game for a lot of it, and kept us all on the edge of our seats. In the end, the Lakers also succumbed to the Celtics, tying the series 1-1.
I went back to work on Monday surprising well rested, and the day flew by. I think because it went so fast, I wasn't so drained of life by the time I left, and really had a hard time getting to sleep. I think I was excited about rafting finally being reserved. I probably shouldn't have spent the money on that until I knew Josh and I would be ok.
We're both going to have to be on some major lock down this week until more of Josh's checks start coming in. I can't wait until we move, and Josh has a steady, stable job, and we can stop worrying about the next show, the next unemployment check. That'll be nice.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
1 Month!
Josh and I "celebrated" our 1 Month of being married. And by celebrated, I mean, I took him to Applebees. The one (and only one) even remotely close had closed down for quite a long time, and we just recently learned that it had reopened. Josh was ecstatic.
It feels like the time has flown by - yet, I still haven't even started the process of my name change. I really need to order our Marriage Certificate ASAP, and get one that.
Josh is still out of work, unfortunately. He's had a couple job offers, that he's turned down. The first offer he got was for a game show called Minute To Win It. At first, it seemed like a good thing. It's a network show which means a longer gig, more money, and it was being shot at CBS Radford, so for the first time, he'd be working in the valley. But then he found out that it'd be 14-hour days, 6 days a week, for $100 less than his base weekly rate. He agonized over what to do, but eventually said thanks, but no thanks. It's the first time he'd ever turned down a job.
The second show was even worse, as they paid even less money.
I told Josh that I supported him completely - he's worked too hard and too long to short sell himself like that, especially when a chance for a good show might be coming up soon. The boss he loves has some stuff in the works, though they may not start up for another few weeks.
I can't wait until we can have a more normal life with more normal jobs. That'll be nice.
In other new:
Oil is still spilling into the Gulf, my Dad hasn't gone back to work yet, the Lakers play game 1 against the Celtics tonight, Caleb won 1st place in his race last night, and it's time for breakfast!
It feels like the time has flown by - yet, I still haven't even started the process of my name change. I really need to order our Marriage Certificate ASAP, and get one that.
Josh is still out of work, unfortunately. He's had a couple job offers, that he's turned down. The first offer he got was for a game show called Minute To Win It. At first, it seemed like a good thing. It's a network show which means a longer gig, more money, and it was being shot at CBS Radford, so for the first time, he'd be working in the valley. But then he found out that it'd be 14-hour days, 6 days a week, for $100 less than his base weekly rate. He agonized over what to do, but eventually said thanks, but no thanks. It's the first time he'd ever turned down a job.
The second show was even worse, as they paid even less money.
I told Josh that I supported him completely - he's worked too hard and too long to short sell himself like that, especially when a chance for a good show might be coming up soon. The boss he loves has some stuff in the works, though they may not start up for another few weeks.
I can't wait until we can have a more normal life with more normal jobs. That'll be nice.
In other new:
Oil is still spilling into the Gulf, my Dad hasn't gone back to work yet, the Lakers play game 1 against the Celtics tonight, Caleb won 1st place in his race last night, and it's time for breakfast!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Memorial Day Weekend
The weekend was a long, yet good weekend that was comprised of many events.
I had to work on Friday until 2pm, and had planned on having Josh pick me up and leaving straight from work. Unfortunately, Josh wanted to wait for his unemployment paperwork to come (they had screwed up and hadn't received anything since May 9th, which means no checks had been coming in), so he could get it filled out and returned so a check could be sent our way.
The mail guy didn't get there until 3:45, which meant that we didn't get on the road until 4pm. Traffic was awful! It took us 3 and 1/2 hours to get to Vicki's - when it's normally a 2 hour drive at most. But, we got there just in time to see Caleb start racing. That boy is so bad ass, I can't even tell you. He came in third - which he was more than happy about. He loves doing it, and at this point, doesn't care much about what place he comes in.
Josh and I went back to my sisters house, while my Mom, Dad, Rachele and Christopher drove up to Big Bear. I wanted Josh to be able to enjoy the drive up since he hadn't been there before, and opted to drive up in the morning. Which we did. Very early in the morning. We made it to the cabin around 8:30 that morning.
Once Joe and Deb got there, the whole family went to breakfast. It was deeeeelicious. In hindsight, we could have done without the large meal since the BBQ was starting in just a few hours. Oh well.
We didn't do a whole lot that day, besides eating, fishing, coloring (lots and lots of coloring), and watched the Laker game and The Blindside which I really enjoyed.
On Sunday, Pastor Trish made everyone breakfast and then conducted our own little church service. It was maybe 30 minutes long, and the kids took part in reading and handing out communion. It was pretty cool.
Joe, Deb, Josh and I went to the Village and walked around the stores a bit, before heading back to the cabin and saying our goodbyes and driving home.
We got home around 2, and just lounged around the house. We eventually went to Target and bought our Thank You cards (we gotta get those done, like, last week), some Eyeliner, and Saving Private Ryan on Blu-Ray. We had a $50 Gift Card and our total was $47. That was pretty nice.
Monday, Whitney had a BBQ at her parents house. They have this awesome outdoor patio setup that really hadn't been used yet, so we christened it. It was amazing - perfectly suited for entertaining. We ate chips, burgers, hot dogs and cookies. And sat around and talked. Nino brought me my camera, so I got to play around with that a little bit. As much as the internal memory will let me. I'll have to go to Target or WalMart today to buy a SD Card and a case to keep my new camera safe and pretty.
I drove Josh home, since he was pretty drunk. Ridiculous. He used me as a drum the whole way home. Then he got pretty melodramatic that night, telling me that he didn't deserve me, and that he'd never live up to his Dad. That's pretty hard to deal with. What do you say to that? But for the most part, he was pretty silly.
He ended up falling asleep on the couch, which gave me freedom to get ready in the bedroom/bathroom. That was really nice. I had a few extra minutes so I finally made our bed. We washed our sheets over a week ago, and both of us have been too lazy to actually make it - so we've just been sleeping on the mattress with some throw blankets over us. So, thats done. I feel like I've been pretty lackluster in keeping the house together. A lot of clutter thats pretty much my fault. Gotta get that under control.
I'm really considering putting an end to my acrylic nails. I've had them for 2 years or so at this point, but - I dunno. Our normal nail lady had to skip town because her husband tried to kill her. She finally came back but is living out near Long Beach and is only going to commute to her shop in Woodland Hills every 2 weeks for her long-time clients. I just don't know if I want to deal with it anymore. 2 weeks is too short, 4 weeks is too long. Our appointment isn't until the 26th of this month, and I've already gone about 5 weeks since my last fill. I think I just want to take them off. Go Au' Natural for awhile. Not spend that extra money.
Anyway - I've been here for over an hour and I haven't done a thing. Must work!
I had to work on Friday until 2pm, and had planned on having Josh pick me up and leaving straight from work. Unfortunately, Josh wanted to wait for his unemployment paperwork to come (they had screwed up and hadn't received anything since May 9th, which means no checks had been coming in), so he could get it filled out and returned so a check could be sent our way.
The mail guy didn't get there until 3:45, which meant that we didn't get on the road until 4pm. Traffic was awful! It took us 3 and 1/2 hours to get to Vicki's - when it's normally a 2 hour drive at most. But, we got there just in time to see Caleb start racing. That boy is so bad ass, I can't even tell you. He came in third - which he was more than happy about. He loves doing it, and at this point, doesn't care much about what place he comes in.
Josh and I went back to my sisters house, while my Mom, Dad, Rachele and Christopher drove up to Big Bear. I wanted Josh to be able to enjoy the drive up since he hadn't been there before, and opted to drive up in the morning. Which we did. Very early in the morning. We made it to the cabin around 8:30 that morning.
Once Joe and Deb got there, the whole family went to breakfast. It was deeeeelicious. In hindsight, we could have done without the large meal since the BBQ was starting in just a few hours. Oh well.
We didn't do a whole lot that day, besides eating, fishing, coloring (lots and lots of coloring), and watched the Laker game and The Blindside which I really enjoyed.
On Sunday, Pastor Trish made everyone breakfast and then conducted our own little church service. It was maybe 30 minutes long, and the kids took part in reading and handing out communion. It was pretty cool.
Joe, Deb, Josh and I went to the Village and walked around the stores a bit, before heading back to the cabin and saying our goodbyes and driving home.
We got home around 2, and just lounged around the house. We eventually went to Target and bought our Thank You cards (we gotta get those done, like, last week), some Eyeliner, and Saving Private Ryan on Blu-Ray. We had a $50 Gift Card and our total was $47. That was pretty nice.
Monday, Whitney had a BBQ at her parents house. They have this awesome outdoor patio setup that really hadn't been used yet, so we christened it. It was amazing - perfectly suited for entertaining. We ate chips, burgers, hot dogs and cookies. And sat around and talked. Nino brought me my camera, so I got to play around with that a little bit. As much as the internal memory will let me. I'll have to go to Target or WalMart today to buy a SD Card and a case to keep my new camera safe and pretty.
I drove Josh home, since he was pretty drunk. Ridiculous. He used me as a drum the whole way home. Then he got pretty melodramatic that night, telling me that he didn't deserve me, and that he'd never live up to his Dad. That's pretty hard to deal with. What do you say to that? But for the most part, he was pretty silly.
He ended up falling asleep on the couch, which gave me freedom to get ready in the bedroom/bathroom. That was really nice. I had a few extra minutes so I finally made our bed. We washed our sheets over a week ago, and both of us have been too lazy to actually make it - so we've just been sleeping on the mattress with some throw blankets over us. So, thats done. I feel like I've been pretty lackluster in keeping the house together. A lot of clutter thats pretty much my fault. Gotta get that under control.
I'm really considering putting an end to my acrylic nails. I've had them for 2 years or so at this point, but - I dunno. Our normal nail lady had to skip town because her husband tried to kill her. She finally came back but is living out near Long Beach and is only going to commute to her shop in Woodland Hills every 2 weeks for her long-time clients. I just don't know if I want to deal with it anymore. 2 weeks is too short, 4 weeks is too long. Our appointment isn't until the 26th of this month, and I've already gone about 5 weeks since my last fill. I think I just want to take them off. Go Au' Natural for awhile. Not spend that extra money.
Anyway - I've been here for over an hour and I haven't done a thing. Must work!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Blogging
Maybe starting to blog again wasn't such a good thing. Or is it? Instead of surpressing frustrations, I now am coming straight here to vent instead of just "dealing" with it.
Friends. Ah, the mysterious world of friends. It's no surprise that my group of friends isn't what its supposed to be. And maybe that can be chalked up to growing up, careers, relationships, marriage. But then I see Josh's group of friends that, despite living on opposite ends of the country, are still going strong.
So how is it so hard to keep a group of friends together that live in together in the confines of the San Fernando Valley. It'd be easy to blame everyone else, but I can't be that naive. I know I've changed, hell, I got married, but I really feel that I'm one of the few that's still making an effort.
I feel like my attempts at invitations, and planning, are now being taken for granted. It'll be interesting to see what happens after I leave. Whitney and Louis will still see eachother, of course. Nino, Andrew and Josh already do things outside the group, so they should be fine. Gregg and Lindsey will stay on their own, and Joe and Deb will make the final move over to her group of friends.
The group that's been going strong for almost a decade will finally break apart, the group that made me who I am, taught me my life lessons, helped me get through those life lessons, and the group that saw me become a woman will be but just a fragmented history of what used to be.
Friends. Ah, the mysterious world of friends. It's no surprise that my group of friends isn't what its supposed to be. And maybe that can be chalked up to growing up, careers, relationships, marriage. But then I see Josh's group of friends that, despite living on opposite ends of the country, are still going strong.
So how is it so hard to keep a group of friends together that live in together in the confines of the San Fernando Valley. It'd be easy to blame everyone else, but I can't be that naive. I know I've changed, hell, I got married, but I really feel that I'm one of the few that's still making an effort.
I feel like my attempts at invitations, and planning, are now being taken for granted. It'll be interesting to see what happens after I leave. Whitney and Louis will still see eachother, of course. Nino, Andrew and Josh already do things outside the group, so they should be fine. Gregg and Lindsey will stay on their own, and Joe and Deb will make the final move over to her group of friends.
The group that's been going strong for almost a decade will finally break apart, the group that made me who I am, taught me my life lessons, helped me get through those life lessons, and the group that saw me become a woman will be but just a fragmented history of what used to be.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Wah wah
I hate getting excited about something only be be disappointed.
Josh drove all the way out to Culver City to go pick up my new camera with Nino. Turns out they didn't have it in the store, and Nino will have to order it.
I was so excited to play with it tonight, and use it this weekend up in Big Bear and at Calebs race. Hopefully I can still get it before the weekend, but unlike before, I won't get my hopes up.
Sigh.
Josh drove all the way out to Culver City to go pick up my new camera with Nino. Turns out they didn't have it in the store, and Nino will have to order it.
I was so excited to play with it tonight, and use it this weekend up in Big Bear and at Calebs race. Hopefully I can still get it before the weekend, but unlike before, I won't get my hopes up.
Sigh.
A New Camera!
I've always loved taking pictures, mostly just for fun, sometimes bordering on amateur photography, but mostly to document my life.
For awhile, I took pictures every where I went, at every event. Birthday parties, family get togethers, trips, dinners, hikes...it was with me. One year, I even put together a book of all the pictures from the year.
Then, my beloved Sony Cybershot stopped charging. My parents got me a new camera for my birthday that year, a Canon Powershot. I enjoyed it for a couple of weeks before it became apparant what its limitations were. Basically, don't take pictures indoors, at night, when it's cloudy, or if anything is moving. On top of that, add a pretty crappy lens that only focuses on things if it wants to, and the dreaded lens error where the camera would freeze all together. That latter is why I have no pictures of my bridal shower.
Last week, I started looking at some new cameras, Sony's of course. I asked my friend Nino, who works at Sony, if they sold at a discounted price at his work. They did! And, they had a promotion at the time for an additional 10% off of the employee discount. This is when my camera searching went into a full frenzy.
I hopped around a few different cameras before finally settling on the DSC-HX5V and the DSC-WX1. The HX5V had great zoom, used SD Cards, had a GPS to geo-tag your photos and was fairly good in low light (one of my main requirements) and outdoor shots. The WX1 however had FANTASTIC reviews for low light (you could take pictures in complete darkness if you wanted to) - but did not have the GPS, had half the zoom, and only used Memory Sticks. It also had some not so great reviews for daytime/outdoor shots. Apparently the lens let in too much light.
I was conflicted. Do I go with the camera that takes "pretty good" low light photos and all the extra features, or do I go with the one that takes fantastic low light photos, and spend the extra time touching up the day time photos, on top of giving up the fun little extras.
In the end, I decided to go with the HX5V. I figured it would suffice all of my low light needs, and I would enjoy the other features it had. Plus, I could use the same SD Card I use on my DSLR instead of spending money on a new card.
The other good part - the price. It retails for $349. Through Sony, I can get it for $247 after tax. AND, I have a $100 Am Ex Gift Card, so thats only $147 out of my pocket.
I can't wait to play with it this weekend at Calebs race, and up in Big Bear.
For awhile, I took pictures every where I went, at every event. Birthday parties, family get togethers, trips, dinners, hikes...it was with me. One year, I even put together a book of all the pictures from the year.
Then, my beloved Sony Cybershot stopped charging. My parents got me a new camera for my birthday that year, a Canon Powershot. I enjoyed it for a couple of weeks before it became apparant what its limitations were. Basically, don't take pictures indoors, at night, when it's cloudy, or if anything is moving. On top of that, add a pretty crappy lens that only focuses on things if it wants to, and the dreaded lens error where the camera would freeze all together. That latter is why I have no pictures of my bridal shower.
Last week, I started looking at some new cameras, Sony's of course. I asked my friend Nino, who works at Sony, if they sold at a discounted price at his work. They did! And, they had a promotion at the time for an additional 10% off of the employee discount. This is when my camera searching went into a full frenzy.
I hopped around a few different cameras before finally settling on the DSC-HX5V and the DSC-WX1. The HX5V had great zoom, used SD Cards, had a GPS to geo-tag your photos and was fairly good in low light (one of my main requirements) and outdoor shots. The WX1 however had FANTASTIC reviews for low light (you could take pictures in complete darkness if you wanted to) - but did not have the GPS, had half the zoom, and only used Memory Sticks. It also had some not so great reviews for daytime/outdoor shots. Apparently the lens let in too much light.
I was conflicted. Do I go with the camera that takes "pretty good" low light photos and all the extra features, or do I go with the one that takes fantastic low light photos, and spend the extra time touching up the day time photos, on top of giving up the fun little extras.
In the end, I decided to go with the HX5V. I figured it would suffice all of my low light needs, and I would enjoy the other features it had. Plus, I could use the same SD Card I use on my DSLR instead of spending money on a new card.
The other good part - the price. It retails for $349. Through Sony, I can get it for $247 after tax. AND, I have a $100 Am Ex Gift Card, so thats only $147 out of my pocket.
I can't wait to play with it this weekend at Calebs race, and up in Big Bear.
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